The calendar turns its heavy page; In one simple moment the year has begun to change. 

Does it feel any different, ‘25-’26? Is it just another number? Or has time hit you like a bag of bricks?

This year will be different, they pray, with 12 green grapes under the table, each swallowed with a goal. At least that’s what they say and I want to believe but my soul yells no. 

It will be different, I fight back, with a fake smile and a lip that has been chewed because I know last year’s resolutions didn’t stick but what if this year they do? 

I will become more athletic. I’ll start by buying running shoes that will never make it out of the box or maybe I’ll finally start sitting on the docks to watch the sun or I will eat better so I can finally say that I am clean. 

Maybe I’ll look at myself and finally see me instead of someone who’s been pushed around with envy’s green gleam. I will finally say “look at me, I’m pretty” and not look for validation from others through a screen. 

Maybe just maybe I can stop wishing and my dreams will simply become reality: a white picket fence with a wrap around porch and the love of my life never leaving my side.

Or a spark will ignite and that cute but awkward smirk will turn into a smile that won’t have to be faked or hidden because of life’s turmoil. It will be genuine and I’ll thank God for the little things like the flowers, ponds, and the birds that sing. 

So, I will eat these 12 green grapes and create 12 new goals hoping my old sick habits begin to turn into new ones that will eventually stick.

I will hope and dream for these green grapes to work and if they don’t there’s always 27’ in 12 short months.