The essay below is a essay to show and reflect upon good strategies to have in a well written college essay.
I Was Fourteen
I was fourteen. It wasn’t the first time I attempted, but it became my last. I can’t recall much of what happened that night, except for what I thought would be my final moments. Lying on the bathroom floor, I felt my heart slow and heavy in my chest. My fingertips came to be numb, and my breathing grew so, so shallow. I woke to the sound of my mom and grandma crying—something I had experienced before.
I was fourteen. Living with selective mutism meant I could spend weeks at a time not speaking to anyone, and at this point, it had been two weeks since I had last spoken. I stayed in bed, sleeping entire days away miserably to avoid the whole world around me. My grandma was concerned, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her. I knew what I was planning, and I think she knew it too. My mom was coming to see me as well, since I was living with my grandma, but I felt too miserable about everything to care about seeing her. I loved her but I selfishly thought that ending it all was what I wanted more than any of that.
In that cold hospital bed, I uttered “Mom” and immediately broke down. Hearing my voice, raspy and sad, echoing through a room filled with her wails—it was overwhelming. That was the last time I ever wanted to feel like that or hear myself, or her, in that state again.
I stayed in the hospital for a few days. My mom and grandma were in and out, constantly checking on me. I felt awful—both physically and emotionally to say the least. This time I had come so close to the edge, and the gravity of what I had almost done weighed on me. I had realized how selfish I had become. People often avoid calling suicide selfish because it feels too harsh, but after attempting three times and waking up to the shattered, tear-stained faces of people I love, I understood. When you see the devastation your actions leave behind, it’s hard to deny that ripple effect of pain. I had been consumed by my suffering, blind to its impact on everyone who cared about me. I’ll always be angry with myself for putting them through that pain. They didn’t deserve it. No one deserves that. It wasn’t just my battle; they were unknowingly fighting it too, and I hadn’t even realized it until then.
In the weeks following my release from the hospital, I knew things had to change. I couldn’t keep walking the same path. I spent a lot of time outside because everyone thought it would help—and it did. At first, it was small steps: sitting outside for a few minutes, feeling the sun on my skin and just breathing in the fresh air. Slowly, I began to rediscover activities that brought me peace. I started going on long walks, using them as moments of reflection. I read books that took me away from my thoughts, allowing me to immerse myself in stories and characters that gave me a sense of hope. Drawing and painting became outlets for the emotions I couldn’t put into words. Every brushstroke and pencil line was a way to express what I had been holding inside for so long.
Though that summer was spent mostly alone, it became a time of quiet growth. It wasn’t easy—there were moments when I still felt overwhelmed with that guilt and darkness—but something began to shift. I started to see my life differently, as something obviously fragile for me but also so precious. For the first time in a while, I regained that sense of purpose I was longing for, even if I didn’t fully understand what it was yet. I had realized that this life, my life, was a gift, and I was meant to live it, not end it. Every moment, even my painful ones, had value, and I needed to cherish them—both for myself and for the people who loved me. My views of the world were altered for the better after being so close to death. I understood that, when it’s truly my time, it will happen naturally. I no longer feel the need to rush it or force it. There’s a sense of peace in knowing that my future is holding all these opportunities I have yet to discover, and I’m not willing to just throw them all away anymore.
College Essay Reflection
Writing a college essay is a deeply personal process, one that allows you to showcase who you are beyond grades and test scores. The essay is a chance to communicate your values, your growth, and your resilience. It’s a medium where authenticity shines, and sharing personal experiences can transform a standard application into a story colleges remember.
Reflecting on the essay above, it’s clear how powerful storytelling can be in creating an emotional connection with readers. The narrative captures a moment of profound struggle and growth, offering a raw and honest glimpse into the writer’s life. This vulnerability is what makes the essay compelling—it reflects not only the challenges faced but also the lessons learned and the resilience gained. For a college essay to have a similar impact, it’s essential to focus on a few key strategies: emotional appeal, structured storytelling, and a clear connection to personal growth.
Emotional Appeal Through Authenticity
A strong college essay resonates with its audience by being honest and authentic. The essay above doesn’t shy away from sharing a painful experience. Instead, it turns that experience into a testament to perseverance and self-discovery. While not every essay needs to go into deeply emotional territory, it should always reflect the writer’s true self. For example, if you choose to write about a hobby, a challenge, or a specific moment in your life, make sure your passion or struggle comes through clearly. Avoid trying to just write what you think an admissions officer wants to hear—genuine emotion is far more memorable than a forced narrative.
Structured Storytelling
A college essay should flow naturally, guiding the readers through your experiences and later reflections. In the essay above chronological structure was used by starting from a pivotal moment and then moving toward the journey of healing and growth. This method allows readers to experience the transformation alongside the writer.
You can approach your essay similarly by choosing a moment that highlights your personal growth and framing it within a clear beginning, middle, and end. Start with an engaging opening—maybe a vivid memory or a striking statement—to draw your audience in. Build the middle section by providing context, delving into how the event or experience shaped you. Finally, conclude by reflecting on what you learned and how it has influenced your goals or outlook on life.
Emphasizing Growth and Purpose
The ultimate goal of a college essay is to show who you are today because of your experiences. In my own essay I move from a place of despair to one of self-awareness and hope, illustrating a profound transformation. This progression is key in making an essay not just a recount of events but a reflection of growth.
When crafting your own essay, consider: How have your experiences shaped your character? What lessons have you learned that you carry with you? How do these lessons tie into your future goals? Admissions officers are not only looking for a story—they want to understand how that story has prepared you for the challenges and opportunities in college and beyond.
Balancing Reflection with Guidance
This sentiment reminds us that while no two essays will look the same, they should all share one purpose: to reveal your unique perspective and potential. Whether you highlight a moment of triumph, a time of struggle, or a passion that drives you, ensure your essay paints a full picture of who you are and why you’d be a valuable addition to the college community.
By focusing on authenticity, structure, and personal growth, you can write an essay that stands out—not because it tries to be perfect, but because it reflects the real, evolving you.
